Oh, April...

If you had met me 3 years ago, you would have met a VERY different person. You would have met a girl who was exhausted by life. Who was in the process of having her heart shattered by a boy who never had deserved her heart, but she gave it to him anyway out of fear of being alone. Who was receiving wedding announcements and baby shower invitations by the dozen and who was gasping to try to keep up. You would have met a girl who felt inescapably trapped by the career path that she had so desperately wanted to follow her entire life. You would have met a girl who loved to dream big but repeatedly allowed herself to be let down by people who didn't support her big dreams. You would have met a girl who had trained herself to speak the words "I'm sorry" in order to preserve relationships. Never mind the fact that she had done nothing wrong. You would have met a girl who was on the verge of allowing her life to settle at mediocre. You would have met the average twenty-something, as it turns out. 

If you had met me on August 16, 2008, you would have met a girl who was not only single, but bitter about being single. You would have met a girl who was starting to develop quite an attitude about the whole concept of relationships and love. And if you told me that exactly two years from that day I would find myself in a hospital room giving birth to a beautiful baby girl with my dream husband by my side, I would have laughed in your face. 

Now it is April, and wedding season is once again upon us. This, of course, brings all of the girls who are going through what I was going through not so long ago out of the wood work. Facebook is flooded by exciting engagement and baby announcements, divided up on the news feed only by snarky (yes I just used the word snarky) comments about true love being a complete joke. The girls who make those comments, of course, are wrong. However, I completely understand and empathize with them. After all, I've been there. And I remember, only 2 years ago, completely agreeing with them that true love was a complete joke. 

Thank God I met my husband. The ways that Jonathon has changed my life and my heart and my soul are completely immeasurable. The night we met, we were at a Halloween party. It was 2008. We were introduced to one another by a mutual friend. We talked with one another for a few minutes and then carried on with life as usual... well, at least as close to usual as you can find at a Halloween party that is 80s themed. Suffice it to say that Jonathon still remembers watching me tear up the dance floor in my crimped hair and neon blue slitted shirt belting out the words to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of my lungs... it's no big surprise that no digits were exchanged that evening. But a month later we were reunited and phone numbers and life stories were exchanged, and within a week we were "official." Four months and ten days later the man of my dreams got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. Six months and eight days after that we exchanged wedding vows. Ten months and six days after that we welcomed our precious baby Cadence into the world. And now, as I try to soothe a teething 8 month old back to sleep, I hold my sweet little girl and am so completely thankful that I didn't allow my life to settle in the valley of mediocre. 

My point? Ladies, it's April. When you're single, this time of year sucks. There is just no getting around it. However, I just want to tell you that it IS possible to find the man who meets every single criteria that you have obsessively written in a list (and ordered by priority) if you'll just wait patiently for him to find you. So my advice? Don't waste a single second more of your life wallowing in self pity and wondering if the best days of your life are already behind you. It's just not worth your time. 3 years ago I was 100% convinced that I was going to become the definition of a cat lady.... though I'm deathly allergic to cats, so really I would have just been a fish lady, most likely. But I would have had an impressive aquatic collection, let me tell you. With a little bit of patience and a whole lot of faith, I find myself today living the life that I have always dreamed of. And while our little family of three doesn't always get everything just right, and while troubles still fall on our path on a fairly regular basis, I can honestly say that I've never been happier. 

And the girl from 3 years ago? Sometimes I look at pictures of her and don't even recognize her. And I think that's probably a good thing. I've changed for the better. I stopped settling. I stopped apologizing for things that weren't my fault. I not only quit teaching, but I allowed myself to let go of the guilt-ridden idea that my entire college education was a waste of time and money. I stopped giving my heart to boys who didn't deserve it. I let go of the people in my life who couldn't support me in my pursuit to follow my big dreams, and began to dream even bigger. And you know what happened, just as soon as I started to let go of all of that crap? The love of my life found me. Happiness found me. Faith found me. The life that I had spent my life dreaming of finally found me. 

I can't actually guarantee that this will happen to everyone, but I can guarantee that if you let go of all of the crap, you will find yourself infinitely happier. So there's your unsolicited advice for the day. You're welcome.